Evert 2.0

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4. Independent

I regularly think of my late second mother, Aunt Riet. I had spoken at her cremation and explained that her greatest enemy was not the disease she had (cancer), but dependence. I experienced a similar feeling during my time in the hospital and rehabilitation center. Sometimes, in patches, this feeling comes back to me and expresses itself in fear. Fear of being dependent on care from others, no matter how lovingly they do it, fear of becoming a cash crop. In the classes I taught as a social work teacher, I frequently dealt with the themes of self-determination and independence. When students worked with people with noncongenital brain injuries, I had a special feeling about it. Somehow I knew that you could just belong to this target group. So my frame of reference to students was, “Would I want to be cared for by you, would I want you at my bedside.”

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