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Evert 2.0

6. Talking

Talking, thinking, listening and watching takes energy. January 2025
I can't always put the knowledge I have into words. Just as I have been re-learning walking (bizarre when I consider that I could not walk at all bevgin June), it seems I am re-learning talking as well. At least to keep up with the pace of my thinking. When I am with other people, I can sometimes get out of my words poorly. It's mostly about content. I know what I mean, but can't touch it, can't grasp it, can't express it. This bothers me and then I apologize. I also have trouble looking at people while talking to them. Doing two things at once takes too much energy for me then.
Note 1: When I was at the laboratory for blood sampling, I told the nurse that I had trouble looking at her while talking to her. The woman asked me if I would tell her more about that. My explanation was, that when I am talking about something I have to think about, it takes energy out of me. When I look at someone I try to “read” their facial expression and this also takes energy. The intensive talking leaves me with limited energy. The woman recognized my situation and indicated that as a child (she was now around 50) she suffered a lot from this. She never told this to anyone and liked that we were talking about it together in this way.
Note 2: Almost comparable to watching sports on television. I watch without sound because the commentary distracts me. I get confused by what I see and what is said. As a result, I get irritated and tired. I am practicing with this by turning on the sound quietly some broadcasts of sports games. The goal of this is that I can watch a sports game with others without getting tired.
My conclusion is that talking, thinking, listening and observing(watching), are separate activities that take energy. The more activities you do at the same time the more energy it takes. There will probably be more activities like this and I am sure there are whole theories and books written about this. To feel and experience this in this way is extraordinary to me.

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