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Presentations, stories and how I look at things.

Improve collaboration, start with yourself.

When you look up collaboration in the dictionary, the explanation says something about being dependent on others. This is exactly where it threatened to go wrong for me. For me this had to do with expectations. My experience was that expectations were a synonym for disappointment. A number of years ago I seemed to have completely run aground on this. In the team where I worked at the time I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable. I often had a kind word for my colleagues and regularly gave them compliments. Little by little I got a positive response in return. I engaged them in interesting conversations about anything and everything, but it was seldom the other way around. Doubt and uncertainty reared their heads again and I felt rejected. Until I met my good friend the basketball manager. He mentioned the book by Jan Bloemhof which I already owned. In which he talked about "The system of wealth".
Jan Bloemhof states that working together should be Fun, Learning and Rewarding. When you miss one of those parts or it is not present enough you move on to 3 other else’s namely "Leaving the left behind". It is not as easy as I write it. I've been practicing a lot to not see that last "Left Lying" as ignoring. Coming into the office and when a colleague says, "Good morning Evert, how are you?" does not promote cooperation when you say nothing and sit behind your desk. No, being left out means that I have to keep it businesslike and not have expectations in the relational sphere. Not of "nice to have you here" or "nice what you did yesterday”. Not giving compliments with the intention of getting them back. As I write this I am reminded of another of my pitfalls: 'asking for confirmation'. People who are well disposed towards me sometimes point out that it causes irritation when I regularly ask for confirmation. So for me, improving the cooperation starts with trusting myself and letting go of my insecurity. Do not expect my environment to praise me because when I do that a disappointment follows that I have created myself.
In summary: Working together has become more pleasant for me since I started ignoring some people more. Or have I misunderstood Jan Bloemhof?

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