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Presentations, stories and how I look at things.

Dairy Järvenpää 2006.

Wednesday, 9th of August 2006, half past five in the morning, the alarm rings and my oldest son Sven takes me to the train station. A quarter to eight I arrived at Schiphol, it all went so quickly I had to wait an hour and fifteen minutes. The flight went fine and I took a cab to Järvenpää. Off to school (the name of which I still can’t pronounce correctly), where I was received by Kim, who was busy so I quickly put my suitcase in the trunk of his car and picked up my bike, a brand new city-crosser.

First I drove around to taste the atmosphere, afterwards I bought the game Twister for the family. I like to give them something since I will be a guest in their home for four days, this seemed like a fun family game.

Sari’s welcome was heartwarming, after which we went in the garden to catch up.

In the evening I went and played beach volleyball together with Kim. During the first set, I fell flat on my back, which hurt at first but I was not going to let it get to me. Just a matter of getting through the pain and play on. This didn’t go on for long, since the pain in my back was getting worse and worse, up to the point I was having difficulty talking and breathing. With a lot of effort, we biked back home, where everything worsened even more, with the result of me breaking out in sweat and almost losing consciousness. Sari first called a doctor, who advised me to go to the hospital with urgency.

Ten minutes later, the ambulance was at the door, and half an hour later I was in the hospital. Pictures were made and all kinds of experiments were done; turns out that some of the muscles between my ribs have been stuck. I felt very uncomfortable since none of the staff on duty spoke English. That night, I had to stay in the hospital and was given heavy painkillers (morphine). The difficult part was that I was having difficulty breathing, and therefore was on oxygen, but after the morphine injection the breathing hurt less and I was able to catch a few hours of sleep. In the morning, the doctor came by and gave me a couple of doses of heavy painkillers. It scared me a lot, but I’m happy that nothing inside of me is damaged.

Thursday, 10th of August, I slowly recontinued my program and got to know some of Sari’s colleagues. The school, when it comes to their type of educational programs, is comparable to Landstede (GDW) and is beautifully sited near the lake. Beautiful gardens and yet again hospitable people who would like to collaborate. I received a quick tour and got to see a nice old sports hall and furthermore made some appointments with, amongst others, an ice-hockey coach. I showed them the website of Landstede, which made them instantly enthusiastic. Subsequently, I had lunch with the coordinator (Sauli) and Sari, where we extensively discussed topics like the vision by which both of our schools operate.

It's clear that we both have an interest in a long-term collaboration, one of the possibilities being student exchanges. In this case, the school that will receive the students has the responsibility for the program, housing and everything that comes with it. We both have a lot to offer the students. When I return to the Netherlands I will discuss this with Udo, I would be happy to assist in a potential exchange. The coming weeks I will be in further contact with the school.

In the meantime, I took some painkillers and recovered, in order to then visit a school for people with disabilities (IJK). At 1 o’ clock in the afternoon I’m having a talk with Minna; we’re both happy to see each other. She made a concept schedule for the things we have to discuss together. Afterwards I’m having a meeting with sports teacher Kirsty about what I can do for her during class.

Slowly but surely, my energy level is draining and I’m experiencing an increasing amount of pain, so I decide to head back to the family’s home. I have a key to the house, I was told to act like it was my own home. I laid on the couch for an hour and looked at holiday pictures together with Petteri (12 year old son). The family is off doing groceries and I’m staying at home alone to work on my diary.

To summarize: a hectic start in which I got to know Finland’s medical assistance in an unfortunate way. For a minute, I thought I’d be back in the Netherlands in no-time and that’s why I was happy it remained to be only one night in the hospital. The doctor’s advice was to take it easy, in a week it would supposed to start getting better again. I choose not to contact the kids at this point because I don’t want to scare them off, I will inform them when things are better (probably after the weekend).

Friday, 11th of August, after taking quite some painkillers I managed to get a good night of sleep and went to Sari’s school at 8:30. All of the staff (100 people) gathered in the amphitheater, where the director gave his speech in a way of singing (everybody got a glass of champagne at arrival). After that, a few short speeches were given and new members of the staff were introduced. Olli is sitting next to me and translates some of what is being said. Olli is a teacher in psychical education, that I happen to have really good contact with since the start. Afterwards, I join the team in their garden to celebrate Olli’s fortieth birthday, where also champagne has presented itself at the occasion. People give each other a hug instead of a kiss. Cake and a swell atmosphere can fill an hour just like that. Sara left and I went with Olli to get something to eat. The Finnish do this in the canteen from around 10:45. I wasn’t hungry so I had a sandwich. During eating I get into an elaborate conversation with Olli and he proposed for me to have a conversation in Helsinki with one of the best basketball coaches of Finland, Tomi, and of course join to see the training. Needless to say, this seems like a lot of fun, but since there’s so many things happening at the same time I decide not to take him up his offer for now. Instead, I will talk to a friend of Olli’s about group dynamics, which I will talk about later. Sari’s back and she shows me around the vicinity, from the church to the sauna. The school is situated at a beautiful lake, where they make good use of the canoes. During the tour, Sari shows me where I will be sleeping the next time, since they would like for me to work with them and focus mainly on setting up a collaboration. The exchange of teachers and students is something we will look into seriously. My first task in the Netherlands is to discuss with Udo what are the possibilities. Afterwards I will try and get colleagues excited for Finland. There’s more it than just Lapland, snow and reindeers. At two o’ clock I will go to IJK, since I am invited to join the garden party. Today the staff starts with a meeting, after which they will have a party with food and drinks, non-alcoholic means just water. Here I meet some of the people of whom I joined the classes and the reunions are heartwarming. Minna planned my program to once again follow classes and also host them. Lastly, with around 20 we head to the local pub. I drove home with Kim and afterwards went with him and Valtteri (7 years old) to Petteri’s (12 years old) football practice by bike. During the bike ride, Kim told me about Finland’s history and the fact that they will celebrate their 100th anniversary in 2017, since they used to be a part of both Russia and Sweden. We baked pancakes using the wood fire and went to the sauna. With Petteri I’m starting to get in better contact since I am talking English more slowly and he is more daring to try. At 23:00, I go to sleep.

Note: the Finnish don’t think of themselves as being good in, for instance, sports. It surprised Marja Leena that I am interested in Finland since she believes Finland doesn’t have that much to offer. This seems to originate from the supremacy of Sweden and to a lesser extent Russia.

Saturday, 12th of August, with Petteri and Kim, also Valtteri is joining, off to the football field for a tournament. Get dressed at home because there are no dressing rooms at the fields. The weather is still lovely, just like all of the other days. Instead of a canteen there are all kinds of small stalls where you can buy something, mostly all kinds of homemade cookies. The coffee is nice. After the football we head home where at 4 o’ clock the neighbor party will kick off. We’ll start off at one point and then collectively pass by around 10 houses. Everyone prepared a certain dish (sweet or savory), and we’ll stay at each place for around half an hour. I had nice conversations, both serious and light. The party, for me, ends at 1 o’ clock and I head to bed with some pain in my side. I understood the last of the party people went home at half past 3.

Sunday, 13th of August, continuing the football tournament and in the meantime picked up the keys to my apartment. In the evening, I went to see Valtteri’s football practice, where I met a friend of Sari’s who is the head of multiple youth centers. I gave him my card because he’d like me to visit him in the next week. In the meantime, he asks me to join him in watching the match Finland vs. Northern Ireland in Helsinki. He will be in touch with Sari to discuss this because I mentioned I will only come if also Kim and the boys will join. In the course of the night, I moved into my apartment at the school and unpacked. It has everything from an adjustable bed to a computer, and it looks like I will easily get by the coming weeks. First did some groceries for breakfast (super market is open until 9 in the evening) and then went to shower and sleep.

Note: I am looking forward to moving to the apartment but I’m also going to miss the family. Valtteri was sad because he thought that I was going back to the Netherlands. He joined in bringing me to the apartment. Sari firmly stated I just had to visit the next day if I felt like it.

Monday, 14th of August, I slept OK, the pain in my back got slightly worse which woke me up a couple of times last night. I had an easy breakfast in my room, and went to meet Minna at 10:45 to discuss the schedule. At 11:30 I had a lovely meal (I am not going to write about eating habits since I could write a book) and waited at my room until the leakage was fixed (within 15 minutes the technical services arrived). Afterwards I visited Sari and Kim, eating went easily, everything is served ready and you can take whatever you want. Valtteri is about to be introduced to the after-school center, where he will go every weekday from 1 until 5 o’ clock. For this, including meal, parents pay 100 euros a month. When a kid gets ill, one of the parents can stay at home with paid leave. I get a tour around the elementary school, which looks neat, a bit barren but the classes will start tomorrow for the first time after summer. From 21:00 to 21:30 I watched the football practice of the B-juniors.

Tuesday, 15th of August, I got up calmly but again with a pain in my side. Coughing and breathing deeply hurts. When I get out of bed, I first put on the radio, which is playing a variety of English and Finnish music. I come to think of and decide to watch the English news around 9:10. I take the bike to Sari’s school since I have a 10:30 appointment with Olli. Together with his colleague I talked for an hour about teaching and everything that comes with it. It’s clear that they work according to the same vision as our ‘’learning by doing’’. Afterwards a warm meal, Olli hands me a coupon that allows me to take what I want. Subsequently I visit IJK, because at 13:25 is my first lesson together with Marja Leena. In May I visited her (English) class and she asked me to join once more. We don’t have to prepare the structure of the class because I know she will approach it. De first group are twelve first year business administration students aged between 18 and 40. They are supposed to work in an office at a later time, so for most it’s a big part about integration. Some are in a wheelchair. In short I tell something about myself and after that Marja Leena writes down the question words on the blackboard. Every student is going to ask me questions, personal as well as about the Netherlands. Students, in this way, also learn how to speak in a group. This is how the first hour of class is filled. Afterwards a coffee break, where I know my way around already and I quickly come in contact with a teacher whose class I will visit on Thursday. The second class is organized the same way but only for this time it’s for second year students. During class, one of the students gets a mild epileptic episode after which she is helped by one of the fellow students. The rest of the students sit down in the corner of the classroom and continue the class. These are two classes, and the conversations are getting more personal, mostly that the students start sharing about their own lives. Afterwards, Marja Leena tells me that the students really appreciate the atmosphere and its safety and that is why they loosen up in English. I should have some space in tomorrow’s schedule, but Marja Leena asks me to join her class again. At 4:15 I quickly go to Sari’s school for the garden party, where it rained for an hour for the first time in two months.
The party is for invitees from the working field and other relations. The school has a Lutheran background, some of the teachers are pastors and also multiple bishops are here. What it’s like exactly I am not sure (yet), but the pastors and bishops are married (or divorced) and the school has a comparable experience to the belief of Landstede, only it’s confusing that one of the three departments has a church training center. Next Wednesday there will be a children’s day where I am invited. Students organize this, and together with Marriejanna I agree that they can come in contact with me through e-mail to discuss the tasks that I will fulfill that day. She’s really enthusiastic about the way we approach this, which shows that the way of working from our schools has lots of similarities. We said goodbye and I shortly rode by the football field to see if there was a practice. I did some groceries and went to bed by 22:45.

Note: this was the first day I was working at IJK, which is where I came for, the only difficult part was that in the meantime I am working on setting up the collaboration with the other school, which is really promising on a long-term basis. The exchange of students and teachers is starting to become reality. During the course of next week, I hope to discuss this with Sauli.

Wednesday, 16th of August, I didn’t sleep well because of the pain, and called Sakari at around 7:45 if he could connect the internet on my room (at this moment, I can only receive e-mail but not send them). I had breakfast, and at 9:30 I cycled together with Kirsti (a sports teacher) to the lake, where she teaches 9 youngsters (1 boy), aged between 16 and 25, with behavioral problems (2 are suffering from schizophrenia). The group only starts when everyone finished smoking (Kirsti is waiting for this) and we introduce ourselves. The youngsters enjoy my presence and play several games. After 15 minutes, there’s a break, everything at relaxed pace and with a nice atmosphere. They all have hold hands and form a circle. It’s beautiful to see how much they’re enjoying this activity. I also joined them in a ball game, which went fine. Another fun game: the students have to form a row, starting with the one with the lowest phone number and leading up to the one with the highest, but they are not allowed to speak or use any instruments. At first, Kirsti lets them have at it, but when they’re not working it out, she allows the group to use a stick, which they use to draw a number. I compare the target group to the one with the youngsters from ‘Groot Emaus’. At 11:45, we have lunch, where delicious salmon is served. Afterwards, I join a group of 7, consisting of shy and difficult students, in their English course. Through English they teach me Finnish words. Afterwards, I joined a group with adults, which means that the students interviewed me or the other way around. From 16:15 to 17:15, together with 3 students (one with an amputated leg), I hydro-biked in the swimming pool. A beautiful and small pool in the school vicinity, concludingly a visit to the sauna. Diner consisted of a stew made from reindeer and raw vegetables (which they use at every meal and is delicious). After dinner I cycled to Sari to go through the schedule. I’m destroyed, caused by a tough program, a full week of speaking English and bad sleep. I decide to prepare a small pizza in the end, because I want to keep working on my diary (this is the first time I’m doing this).

Note: people advise me not to learn the Finnish language, because the people here, especially youngsters, really enjoy speaking English.

Thursday, 17th of August, I have to get my energy together to start working on my diary again. After a reasonable night, I started working at 8:00 and finished at 19:15. I started with a class that was given in Finnish, but there were a couple of students who volunteered to be my translator. One of them, Pete, I still know from my visit in May. I know I have to slow him down sometimes because else he will have me for himself. The teacher barely speaks any English, but the students love catching me up. The class is about cooking a meal and the tasks involved around it. One half of the group is asked to cook for the other. Today we are only going to do the preparation. The students will be given forms on which they have to put (food) requests but also allergies. Why vitamins are important and more questions like that. Oh yes, there are 11 students, 4 wheelchair users and one has an assistant with him. This student (Lauri) communicates through a screen on which he writes sentences with his toe (on his footboard there is a kind of trade). Other than that, various physical disabilities. In addition, there is a class assistant who performs hand and foot duties. Then comes the most important thing: drawing up rules for working in the kitchen. In Finland, hygiëne is a high priority. Finally, in the kitchen we go through a booklet on how to handle food and the groups are split up. There is a boy in a wheelchair who wants to be my translator next week and he asks me to check with the teacher. Then, I go to a third-year ICT group and they are not used to talking in a group. But after an introductory talk from me they loosen up. They are going to Holland in March and in preparation of their visit they will compose questions for me for next week (they have to arrange this themselves). Then on to the gym class. Twelve students (6 wheelchair users and 2 buddies). Soon I get into a conversation with a 23-year-old boy who impresses me a lot (also afterwards). Until he was 18, he was a professional snowboarder and skater in America. During a fall he became disabled and is now in school for the first year. We enjoyed playing sports with each other and gave some students personal attention. At 5:00 pm to the canteen and there two students join me and we have a nice conversation. Finally, I go for a walk with 10 students together with the leisure assistant. This is done to introduce new students to the village. Really amazing, the group varies from two girls of 16 in a wheelchair, a punk of 20 and two ladies of around 35. So diverse and everyone just gets along. Another short ride to Kim and Sari where I can tell my story and to my room. I look forward to tomorrow because I work until 10:00 and then I go to the school where I try to get a collaboration. I'm going to have lunch there with a couple of teachers and go home with one for the weekend. He wants me to meet an acquaintance of his who is majoring in group dynamics and is also a coach for a sports club. At 5:00 pm to the canteen and there two students join me and we have a nice conversation. Finally, I go for a walk with 10 students together with the leisure assistant. This is done to introduce new students to the village. Really amazing, the group varies from two girls of 16 in a wheelchair, a punk of 20 and two ladies of around 35. So diverse and everyone just gets along. Another short ride to Kim and Sari where I can tell my story and to my room. I look forward to tomorrow because I work until 10:00 and then I go to the school where I try to get a collaboration. I'm going to have lunch there with a couple of teachers and go home with one for the weekend. He wants me to meet an acquaintance of his who is majoring in group dynamics and is also a coach for a sports club.
Note: In Finland there are many pedestrian crossings but don't think they are useful because you can easily wait 5 minutes before you can cross. Even with a wheelchair user, it makes little difference. The lady in the wheelchair was frightened to death when I wanted to cross with her wheelchair, because Rotterdammers often take the right of way. And I told her that I thought the Finns were so social, but certainly not at crosswalks.
Friday, 18th of August, Class at 8 with Timo, a new teacher. Teacher wants to put all kinds of things on the board but I explain how I am used to it in the other classes. Group consists of 12 students between 18 and 25, wheelchair users and generally heavy physical disabilities also with talking. With a lot of patience and tact from Timo and me we get a great atmosphere in the class where people laugh and everyone does his best to say something in English, hobbies, etc.. Sometimes it takes 2 minutes before someone can say a sentence or a few words but once they do they are very proud. Next week Monday and Friday I will be back in this class and I am saying goodbye for now.
Friday afternoon, after a two and a half hour drive, we arrived in Jyvaskyla. A beautiful town located on a lake and in this week, the center of all Finland and the rally world. The World Rally Championship is in town this weekend and the Finns are favorites. This event can be compared to the TT in Assen but then in miniature. After a warm welcome at the family where Olli is godfather of the only child of 3 years old, we go to the table. Cake and a full table of goodies.
In the evening we went to the race: €15 to watch half an hour, which was a bit disappointing, then we went into the center and that made up for everything. A square full of food stalls and about 15 pubs and terraces were pretty full. There is little difference with the nightlife at home. It is also a beautiful shopping street that is heated in the winter so there is no snow or ice pollution. Because is this part the winter lasts from mid-November to late April and 80 inches of snow and -25 degrees Celsius is normal. Around two o'clock to bed and the next day a bit of peace and quiet. We looked at the sports facilities of the city and that looked good. Several ice halls and of course we visited an ice hockey (training) game. The hospitality is very great in the family and I have a conversation with the mother who was treated for leukemia a few months ago.
The conversation is open and the woman says that for her it is also a way of coping. Her husband is also called Olli and I have extensive discussions with him because he graduated from university in group dynamics and has been an ice hockey coach at the highest level for years. Saturday I am in bed at 11 p.m. because I know that next week is going to be tough again. Both Olli's will make night work of it with, of course, lots of drinks. Every day we go into the sauna that is built into the shower. That seems to be the way it is in many Finnish houses. Sunday brunch and back to, as I am beginning to call it, my house.
In the evening I spent some time talking outside with one of the students and further arranged my program through the mail because in the meantime I was invited by two students from Seurakuntaopisto. Seurakuntaopisto is the MBO education where I try to get the cooperation going.
Monday, 21st of August, I get up at seven o'clock and this time I try to have breakfast in the canteen, but it is not as good since it’s all savory and the bread is not really good, so I go back to my room and use the toaster. From half past eight until ten I have a good conversation with Sauli, the coordinator of the MBO, about the cooperation. We talk about drop-outs and the multicultural society, items that are very topical at Landstede. Then a conversation with two students who ask if I would like to be a photographer on Wednesday during their activity at the "elementary school". Tomorrow morning, they will show me what the idea is. Lunch at school IJK and there I have an appointment with Sirpa, this is the coordinator with whom I had much contact in November. Nice but short conversation because I have to get to class.
Class divided into two groups, one group taught by the teacher and the other group a conversation with me. The conversations in English were very difficult, mainly because the level difference of the students is huge as well as the degree of disability. The conversations went better when we switched to Finnish and the assistant translated. Students asked about the school system in the Netherlands and what other differences there were. In the evening I went with a student and supervisor to wheelchair floorball practice. The student was delighted that I went along but I didn't say a word from 4:30 to 8:45 p.m. because both the guide and the cab driver couldn't speak English, which was also the case during the training. Only during the last fifteen minutes in the cab I could exchange some words in English with the student via the computer. All in all, I don't have a very good feeling about this day, but that can happen.
Note: I don't know if I have a dip but e-mails from school start coming in and then I suddenly notice that I'm not up to it at all. I feel like I'm so busy here already and then also ......................
Tuesday, 22nd of August, To the MBO to get acquainted with the students there. They start in a sports room where everyone sits and hangs on the floor. I introduce myself and then get applause. Students go over the playbook for tomorrow's "game day". The first part consists of going over the safety measures; there are six students who stand in different places and have to keep an eye on the safety (they get a walkie-talkie for that). Then they start setting up the game equipment and setting out park courses. I take the first pictures and get nice reactions. Ten o'clock I have my first lesson of the total six at school. Lessons are different in structure, for example in one lesson the teacher leaves and I have a discussion with the class and in another the students have to ask questions and the teacher corrects while writing on the board and they also have to spell their names in English. Some classes I come the second class-hour so they have had theory before we have discussions. Six o’ clock I was met by the leisure assistant from the MBO and we visited several student housing facilities. It was a pleasant switch for me to students similar to SPW Harderwijk. I went to a (rehearsal of) drama production, they told what role and characters they were going to play. Then I had extensive conversations with the students until 10:30 pm (supervisor had left at 9 pm).
Note: After the contact in the evening with the students, I feel like starting school in the Netherlands again.
Wednesday, 23rd of August, Half past seven I was at the school where the MBO students had their activity and took pictures, until half past two. Children (48 around, 9 and 10 years old) came to school and students had come up with a program with all kinds of games around the theme of Peter Pan. They don't like it that I take pictures from half past seven, but they don't dare to say anything because I am a "Dutch teacher". The day is comparable to the SPW'ers of ours. At 18.00 the MBO lesson attended by adults and this is comparable to our training. They tell what they do and come up with the same kind of questions that I am used to. Afterwards, I went for a beer with the teacher Sauli (also the new coordinator of foreign cooperation as of today) and we had a good and personal conversation. He firmly believes in the cooperation and will put all his energy into it. Once in my bed I am broken by the pain in my side / back (I think it's from standing for so long). I sleep terrible that night.
Thursday, 24th of August, Full of good cheer, I drag myself out of my bed at 7:00 am because I have a busy but fun day (class from 8:00 am to 4:05 pm). First, cooking with half of a class (see 16-8) and Lauri is my buddy. In between work (we have to set the table) we have good conversations from school to his life story. The teacher doesn't speak a word of English so Lauri is the translator. It is hard to explain what it means for him to explain to a teacher, but believe me he was beaming all morning. He would also like to continue contact by and I have now given my address to two students.
Then, on to the older students, where we agree to split the group. With the first group it runs perfectly and with the second it is dragging to get something of hobbies out. Then 2 hours of sports with wheelchair users and young people are physically challenged. We played floorball (unihockey in the Netherlands) and I am completely sold, what a cool sport (ice hockey on an ordinary floor with a hole ball). Playing together is perfect and communication is not a problem. After class, the class assistant asks if I want to have a drink with him. Jari is 25 and in the middle of the conversation he tells me that he was a student first and then started working at school. During a fight (5 years ago) he was thrown against a jukebox and spent three weeks in a coma. The conversation is very nice and he would like to keep in touch with me. He also wants to come to the Netherlands with his girlfriend.
Friday, 25th of August, Last day of work. Four lessons from 8:00 to 12:15 and they all go fine. Third and fourth lesson with adults, I take half of them with me every course hour and have excellent conversations with them (they talk a lot, I just have to create the atmosphere so that they can and dare to talk). In between, during my lesson, two MBO teachers (Olli and Sauli) came to say goodbye to me. At the end of the morning, three teachers treated me to a restaurant as a farewell and I received small gifts. We exchanged experiences for over an hour. Then, to Sauli for a farewell/work discussion lunch. During lunch, we agreed on the steps to follow to further expand cooperation. We also discuss the next summer vacation. Since there are no students in the house this weekend, I go to Sari and Kim for the last two nights (I finish how I started). In the evening, I watched Petteri's, their son, floorball practice and since I am tired and feel like my back is broken, I go to sleep at 10pm after the sauna. Sleep is poor due to the pain this night, but I am rested.
Saturday, 26th of August, During the day, we had a quiet breakfast outside (22 degrees) and in the afternoon we went to yet another sports spectacle: the athletics meeting between Finland and Sweden. For 65 years this match has been played one year in Sweden and the other year in Finland. In the men's race, Finland is ahead and wins this time with a minimal difference. In the women's race, Sweden is ahead and wins this time also with big numbers. The atmosphere in the sold-out Olympic stadium (32,000 spectators) is fantastic and all the top players from both countries are participating. From 17.00 to 21.00 it is one big party and I have seen 10 agents in total. It is good here (just like at the rally) that drinking beer is done in a separate enclosed area outside the station, so it is packed. 11 o’ clock at home and, what do you say, Sari had turned on the sauna. After a few short rounds in the sauna I went to sleep.
Sunday, 27th of August, It wasn't until two hours before departure that it started to itch with me that I wanted to go home again. Sari and Kim took me to the airport and the journey back went smoothly. Six o'clock I was home.
Note: The event of Monday night, August 21, has kept me quite busy. I found out that communication is tremendously important. During the time I was not talking to the people that night I felt unhappy. Let alone when you cannot communicate at all, cannot explain what is wrong with you, you are not understood. Communication, especially with these students, makes them feel like they are part of something.

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