Feel welcome

My experience.

Sad situation.

Fate struck unimaginably on two of our residents. Before I start writing, I'll think about this.
The phone rang at home and I got the director of the institution on the line who told me that two girls, one of them from our group, had died in a traffic accident.
I know that my first reaction was: "If there is a God, let him pay better attention". I went straight to work in Slagharen and once in the group I was told everything. On Friday afternoon the school went out, children from our institution walked through the village to the living group(s).
At the crossing a group was waiting for the pedestrian traffic light and two of our girls were standing in front of the bicycle traffic light to go straight ahead.
The lights went green and a truck going right never saw our cycling girls. I wasn't there but what I understood was it was heartbreaking what happened then. The pedestrians who witnessed it will probably carry it with them for a long time to come, just like the driver who also experienced it as very traumatic. As a professional, you have a lot of responsibility for the clients and their families at that time, as well as your own emotion. Together with our colleagues, we provided as much support as possible to the children, the most difficult thing I found was the divergent reactions from our clients. They were children with a moderate intellectual disability and I found it difficult to be able to move around in their world of experience at that time.
Listening, comforting and being there for and with each other was important at that moment. Besides that, practical matters had to be arranged. The days before the funeral were unreal and as a team we tried to pick up the daily routine as best we could.
It was important that there was an extra colleague in the group to give the children individual attention if necessary. Originally “de Eik” was a Roman Catholic institution and faith was an important guiding principle for some. The prayer before and after dinner were anchor points and my role was to listen. In the living room there was a picture with candles for Bea, that was the name of our resident and we took a lot of comfort from it.
In the main building there was a special quiet room for the girls, where everyone could go. You could sit there and write something and many of our children made a drawing. The main goal was to be together and share their sadness and beautiful memories. The funeral was special because many children had made or prepared something.
Can I put on my neat Sunday clothes? Are we free from school all day? Can I have her room? This is a small selection from the different reactions and experiences of the children.
One of the complex parts of all this I have always found is that you are a professional, in addition to your own feelings. Some situations give you a double feeling as a human being. It is guiding clients and their loved ones, taking care of your colleagues and taking care of yourself.

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